TEEN ANGST: IT'S A TEEN THING!

    Teens, they all have different emotions. Some of them feel invisible in a crowd. Others feel like they're the center of attention. There are those who feel stranded and alone. And then there are the people who think they're being judged 24/7. The question is, how emotional are teens in high school? 

    When asked if she liked school, D.H. - after laughing for a little bit - says, "No!" N.H. said this, "I like it for football games and pep rallies, but other than that, it sucks." However, R.V.H. said, "I like the learning part, not the social." "It makes a good naptime," is how A.H.B. responded. So it would appear everyone has a difference of opinion on this point. 

    R.V.H. tries to hang out with all kinds of people but, out of all his friends, he only trusts one. D.H. says she trusts two of her friends, and she claims to hang out with "freaks." N.H. only trusts one of hers, and she describes her friends as the "whatever" type. A.H.B. says she hangs out with "a mix of people, including: preps, punks, rebels, Goths, and stoners." Out of all these people, she only trusts three of her friends. 

    It is very well known the pressure people feel in school, so it was only natural that the subject of judgement came up. T.A.N. denies judging others, and thinks that those around her would respond with, "Like, 'oh rock on dude,' not everybody judges people!" R.A.P.W. also said that she didn't judge others and that they'd be, "hopefully happy" about the whole thing. "Sorta, kinda, iffy..." is what A.H.B. said, but she also inserted, "They don't know, because I don't tell them!" A.C.W. responded, "Good about themselves, they don't have to work to impress," because she doesn't judge others. 

    Some people feel uncomfortable in their own skin, so it was a surprise when only one person said they felt that way. "Yup, I don't like the way I look. Because standards to look a certain way in society are high, and I like that look." R.V.H. quietly whispered. T.A.N. said, however, "No, it's all tight up in here. Because if you don't feel comfortable alone, you ain't ever gonna feel comfortable around other people. You just gonna sit alone in your room, doing the 'oh-pity-me' thing." A.H.B. confidently responded, "No, because I'm me and I'm proud of who I am." A.C.W. also feels relaxed about herself and says this, "I just don't care what people think about me." 

    When walking down the hallways without someone to talk to, A.C.W. says, "I don't really have anything on my mind." N.H., however, says she feels "unloved" and then laughs. "I feel like I got to watch my back," states T.A.N., "because if you ain't got no one to watch your back you ain't got no one to protect you." R.V.H. said they feel, "embarrassed, shy, about two miles wide," like they're being judged all the time. R.A.P.W., on the other hand said, "I'm too busy trying to shove my way through!"

    In conclusion, it is obvious emotions play a big role in teen life. However, whether they're feeling self-conscious, or on top of the world, they still have to get through high school.

"Secrets I Hide" (Poetry)

 Floating and I can't come down.

Smiling to hide my frown.

A control freak losing hold of my tether. 

Waiting for the sun to shine down in stormy weather. 

Losing all my feathers as I fly,

drowning the world as a I cry.

Twisted up in the possibilities

as I lose touch with multiple realities.

Rocking side to side, 

lost in a train of thoughts.

These feelings are bona fide. 

In a web of them, I'm caught. 

Like my body and mind

speaking different languages and can't communicate.

Hoping to soon find

help with this string of Fate. 

Earthquake of emotions bringing me down.

Waterfalls of ideas but I don't make a sound.

As I swipe away these tears I've cried,

I remember these are just the secrets I hide...

~A.~

[Prompts] Family (part 2) [End...]

In what way do you not fit in with the family you grew up in? Or, are you a perfect fit?

Answers:

"My mom used to fight with my dad. My dad would get drunk and hit my mom, so 13 years later she divorced him and married Dave. My dad's name was Jim. I quit school and went into Youth Foster Care, and now I live in an Adult Foster Care and play basketball with my friends. My mom is 72 years old, lives in a foster care, and quit smoking cigarettes for 4 years now. We talk on the phone and visit sometimes. Sadly, my dad & my step-dad died." -Leon B.

"No, I don't get along with my family because they're drunks and other stuff. My family is not a good fit." -Julie R.

"Because I couldn't sit in front of a T.V. for hours on end every night, I didn't fit in." -Scott C.

"It's hard to fit into a family when my dad died when I was 6 [years old]. My mom died when I was 16 [years old]. I had uncles, aunts, and cousins... But I was not close to them. I had no brothers or sisters, either. I have no family members who are close to me. My family now consists of dear friends & I love them to pieces." -Deb G.

"I am a freak because I'm obsessively organized in a chaos-filled environment. I also don't like potatoes - which gets my mother all sorts of judgmental squirrely nuts! I get along with my sister, though, despite everything different between us. My mom calls me her clone because we look alike,, but also because we argue the same. My brother and I only get along while watching anime. My dad and I butt heads constantly, but it was how we communicated. So none of us fit with each other particularly well..." -Alanda M.

 Click Here for Part 1!

Stereotypes |Prompt Answers| Continued...

 Describe a time when you felt you were unfairly stereotyped because of your age or any other characteristic:

"In my twenties I looked older than now that I'm 41. I like Rap music. People used racial remarks against me. Some people think that because I'm 41 years old, that I'm old. And they think because I smoke that my health is bad. Also, people think I'm fat and too big.  People accuse me of trying to be Black. Now that I'm 41 years old, I look like I'm in my twenties. They also say Asians are hort. And Bruce Lee & Jackie Chan. Also if people go walking at night they might get robbed. By the way, I had and Asian friend. My friend's name was John." -Leon B.

"I was stereotyped on a Thursday when my apartment building caught fire. I tried to call my supervisor early Thursday knowing she would be at work. She was not at work. I tried to get a hold of  another supervisor. She did answer the phone. I asked for emergency leave. She wouldn't grant my request. Stating it had to be granted from my supervisor.  I finally got a hold of my supervisor. She demanded that I come into work on Friday because she was leaving on vacation Saturday. She didn't understand that all my clothes smelled of smoke. The laundry room was on the side of the fire.  My PTSD and Depression was really bad on Friday. I got a newspaper Friday and showed it to my supervisor. She sort of believed me, but told me what I need to have done by the time she got home from vacation.  I got part of the two weeks worth of work done, but I feel she stereotyped me as a lazy person because I didn't get all of it finished.  It was about 6 years ago that she apologized for her actions on that day. My boss said that her actions during that time really bothered her.  I have seen her since, but I talk to her on Facebook now and then more than in person." -Deb G.

"It started when I was 7. I was a self-harmer. The doctor and other people stereotyped that I was doing it for attention, which made me upset. It just made it worse. The cutting went on until I was 21. I cut and cut because people did not understand my illness. It made me sad and upset. People looked at my scars and sometimes would stare. That makes me uncomfortable. Why judge me? It's not fair. Why stare at me? Judge your self. All the doctors look at the past history and not how I am doing now." -Fawnna C.

"I was 8 years old. I went to a foster care home and ran away all the time. So I ran from my problems all my life, never facing them head on. I'm older now and I've come to learn that won't solve anything. My problems are still there and I have been learning to use my coping skills to better my life. Also, I'm tired of running from my problems." -Julie R.

"I cannot think of a time I've been stereotyped, per se. Assumptions have been made by many people, but I don't give those people any of my time. The way I see it, if people can't take the time to know you - then their opinions aren't really worth my emotional investment. It can be annoying when people jump to conclusions, but if you let it get to you - you can't really enjoy your own life and that just doesn't make sense... In the words of Napoleon Bonaparte, 'Life is a battle; stand up and fight.'" -Alanda McRae.

Liberty to Love by Alanda McRae

 It is so important to find self acceptance, to be able to laugh in life. Without these things, how can we expect ourselves to love one another? 

How do you find self acceptance when we live in a world full of judgement? In a universe where every move we make is analyzed to the point of not being able to escape rape culture or evolve into a higher state of understanding? Can you find love when you aren't able to laugh (aloud or internally) about anything? 

I want to hear your story. I want to know what you love about yourself. What is the best thing about your life? What makes you smile every day? 

Thank you for your time and I appreciate your reading this through to completion. 

Stereotyped Continued... {Prompt Answers}

Describe a time when you felt you were unfairly stereotyped because of your age or any other characteristic:

"When I started coming to Human Behavior Health Services, I had recently been admitted to the Psych Ward of Oaklawn Hospital. I used to chant to myself to keep my every-day going. It wasn't a list of what I needed to do - it was one specific thing. But it helped. I was lashing out at my body in strange ways. Cutting. Not eating. Spacing out. And then the chanting wasn't helping. So I allowed the admittance. Because I just didn't know what to do anymore. So I spent 18 days in the Psych Ward trying to figure out what I already knew, that I was schizophrenic. It runs in the family, so it felt like a waste of time. Then I was suggested for after-care therapy. I am grateful for it, but it seems an inconvenience for both parties." 

-Julia P.

"When I was a freshman in high school, I was an outcast. I thought I was an outcast because I didn't fit in simply. I loved, loved, loved my music. I think people thought I was a rebel based on that and after school I didn't study. I went to the fort me and a few friends made and I smoked my cigarettes. I'd skip school and go to a friend's house. But I wasn't trying to be a rebel, I was just being wild and free - not dangerous or anything at all..."

-Scott C.

"I am unfairly stereotyped because I'm on disability. I am diagnosed Bipolar, PTSD, and I have a seizure disorder. People (my family) assume I don't work because I'm lazy. The family doesn't understand. They don't try to understand. They don't know my details and I haven't corrected them. So, they make up rumors to spread behind my back.. It's hard to describe a specific time because it's been ongoing for years. They won't help me when I need it because they don't believe I try to help myself."

-Melanie P.

Click to read Part 1... 

(I'm not a fan of part one, but I don't think too many folks are. Keep an eye out for part 3 - yes, there are even more answers waiting to be posted. I feel this particular prompt is something many people can relate to because everyone is assumed to be something for some miniscule reason at some point in their lives...)

Mistake/Assumptions {Prompt answers}

What is a mistake people often make about you?

"They mistake me for being somebody else." -Lorrie W.

"That I'm nice and a pushover. And you are *not* going to use me." -Babygirl*

"When they think I'm still lying about things, but I'm just trying to better my life." -Julie R.

"That I don't know what they honestly think of me." -Scott C.

"Some say I'm a troublemaker, but I'm not. In high school they told me not to try out for baseball because they thought I wasn't good enough. I'm really forgetful and I am, kind of. I like birthdays and other holidays, but they say I waste my time. I see new movies at the theater or on DVD... I don't ignore the world." -Leon B.

"People assume, because I keep my emotions to myself, that I just don't care about anything. However, I'm really just wary about perceptions, reactions, and general liars." -Alanda M.

"They don't believe that I suffer from a mental illness. They don't believe that I played softball and volleyball for 20 years when I was younger. They don't believe I have written 3 poetry books - and sold them. They also don't believe I'm writing a novel now." - Deb G.

Highs & Lows *Prompt Answers*

List Your Highs and Lows of this Month and a Good Habit You'd Like to Start:

"My high was walking more. My low was losing *another* love. No good habits come to mind." -Babygirl*

"I've been feeling pretty good this month. One of my lows would be I haven't been eating healthy like usual. So I would like to start eating healthy on a more consistent basis." -Epifanio Ibarra

"My highs this month were getting all of my 'small goals' accomplished, and being amused by my grand-kids. My lows were having my van break down *again*, so I'm back to public transport and begging friends for rides. A good habit I'd like to start is to get more organized with my writing. I'm not comfortable doing a journal right now, but if I can keep up with the writing prompts that I bring to my groups, it will be a step in that direction!" -Lyn McRae.

*Name(s) changed as requested upon the submission.*

Truly Happy *Prompt Answers*

Write about the last moment that made you feel truly happy:

"Walking in the door and my grand-kids were so happy to see me. Just because I'm their Ooma. I was home with them and they could talk to me and read to me and sing to me and play Trains with me and hug me. Their little faces just lit up, because Ooma's home." -Lyn McRae.

"I always feel happy when I'm with my boys. They're happiness and excitement is contagious. They make it seem like the entire world is bright, even when it's dreadful. We watch cartoons together, play with their toys, draw... My oldest is only 6 years old but he's not only an amazing artist but a lover of music, and I'm glad for it. My little one is nearly 4 years old and can dance better than I ever could."
- Lillian Smith.

Affirmative Poetry [by Lorrie West]

Missing You by Lorrie West

I remember the times we spend
holding on to each other's cries.

Now you move on
to a different place.

Will I see you again?
My friend you will always be.

I miss you so, my friend.

Nature by Lorrie West

The nature that sings
through the windows of eyes -
watching as birds fly.
To the winter days, as the sun
speaks, a Moment of joy.

It's all dead now as the
cold has left us all
lonely now.

Christmas by Lorrie West

Christmas joy -
Christmas is right around the corner.
And I do have
A Gift of Love,
for everyone in the world is to be
Happy and Joyful for one and all...