Musings of 2019 - Curtis McLeichy

Coldwater, MI *Photography by Alanda McRae*

    I like to talk about the weather and how I know it help's me to walk when it's nice. 

    I bathe in the sunshine and clean clothes more often during sunny weather. Sleeping is easier and I feel better in general. 

    I don't forget to eat, listen to music, enjoy television - I even remember to visit my doctor on time when the weather is positive.  

    Now I get a ride to school and doctor appointments. I save money and time. I now use up very little space and have much more time to understand people and read things for school.  

Stereotypes |Prompt Answers| Continued...

 Describe a time when you felt you were unfairly stereotyped because of your age or any other characteristic:

"In my twenties I looked older than now that I'm 41. I like Rap music. People used racial remarks against me. Some people think that because I'm 41 years old, that I'm old. And they think because I smoke that my health is bad. Also, people think I'm fat and too big.  People accuse me of trying to be Black. Now that I'm 41 years old, I look like I'm in my twenties. They also say Asians are hort. And Bruce Lee & Jackie Chan. Also if people go walking at night they might get robbed. By the way, I had and Asian friend. My friend's name was John." -Leon B.

"I was stereotyped on a Thursday when my apartment building caught fire. I tried to call my supervisor early Thursday knowing she would be at work. She was not at work. I tried to get a hold of  another supervisor. She did answer the phone. I asked for emergency leave. She wouldn't grant my request. Stating it had to be granted from my supervisor.  I finally got a hold of my supervisor. She demanded that I come into work on Friday because she was leaving on vacation Saturday. She didn't understand that all my clothes smelled of smoke. The laundry room was on the side of the fire.  My PTSD and Depression was really bad on Friday. I got a newspaper Friday and showed it to my supervisor. She sort of believed me, but told me what I need to have done by the time she got home from vacation.  I got part of the two weeks worth of work done, but I feel she stereotyped me as a lazy person because I didn't get all of it finished.  It was about 6 years ago that she apologized for her actions on that day. My boss said that her actions during that time really bothered her.  I have seen her since, but I talk to her on Facebook now and then more than in person." -Deb G.

"It started when I was 7. I was a self-harmer. The doctor and other people stereotyped that I was doing it for attention, which made me upset. It just made it worse. The cutting went on until I was 21. I cut and cut because people did not understand my illness. It made me sad and upset. People looked at my scars and sometimes would stare. That makes me uncomfortable. Why judge me? It's not fair. Why stare at me? Judge your self. All the doctors look at the past history and not how I am doing now." -Fawnna C.

"I was 8 years old. I went to a foster care home and ran away all the time. So I ran from my problems all my life, never facing them head on. I'm older now and I've come to learn that won't solve anything. My problems are still there and I have been learning to use my coping skills to better my life. Also, I'm tired of running from my problems." -Julie R.

"I cannot think of a time I've been stereotyped, per se. Assumptions have been made by many people, but I don't give those people any of my time. The way I see it, if people can't take the time to know you - then their opinions aren't really worth my emotional investment. It can be annoying when people jump to conclusions, but if you let it get to you - you can't really enjoy your own life and that just doesn't make sense... In the words of Napoleon Bonaparte, 'Life is a battle; stand up and fight.'" -Alanda McRae.

Stereotyped Continued... {Prompt Answers}

Describe a time when you felt you were unfairly stereotyped because of your age or any other characteristic:

"When I started coming to Human Behavior Health Services, I had recently been admitted to the Psych Ward of Oaklawn Hospital. I used to chant to myself to keep my every-day going. It wasn't a list of what I needed to do - it was one specific thing. But it helped. I was lashing out at my body in strange ways. Cutting. Not eating. Spacing out. And then the chanting wasn't helping. So I allowed the admittance. Because I just didn't know what to do anymore. So I spent 18 days in the Psych Ward trying to figure out what I already knew, that I was schizophrenic. It runs in the family, so it felt like a waste of time. Then I was suggested for after-care therapy. I am grateful for it, but it seems an inconvenience for both parties." 

-Julia P.

"When I was a freshman in high school, I was an outcast. I thought I was an outcast because I didn't fit in simply. I loved, loved, loved my music. I think people thought I was a rebel based on that and after school I didn't study. I went to the fort me and a few friends made and I smoked my cigarettes. I'd skip school and go to a friend's house. But I wasn't trying to be a rebel, I was just being wild and free - not dangerous or anything at all..."

-Scott C.

"I am unfairly stereotyped because I'm on disability. I am diagnosed Bipolar, PTSD, and I have a seizure disorder. People (my family) assume I don't work because I'm lazy. The family doesn't understand. They don't try to understand. They don't know my details and I haven't corrected them. So, they make up rumors to spread behind my back.. It's hard to describe a specific time because it's been ongoing for years. They won't help me when I need it because they don't believe I try to help myself."

-Melanie P.

Click to read Part 1... 

(I'm not a fan of part one, but I don't think too many folks are. Keep an eye out for part 3 - yes, there are even more answers waiting to be posted. I feel this particular prompt is something many people can relate to because everyone is assumed to be something for some miniscule reason at some point in their lives...)

Mistake/Assumptions {Prompt answers}

What is a mistake people often make about you?

"They mistake me for being somebody else." -Lorrie W.

"That I'm nice and a pushover. And you are *not* going to use me." -Babygirl*

"When they think I'm still lying about things, but I'm just trying to better my life." -Julie R.

"That I don't know what they honestly think of me." -Scott C.

"Some say I'm a troublemaker, but I'm not. In high school they told me not to try out for baseball because they thought I wasn't good enough. I'm really forgetful and I am, kind of. I like birthdays and other holidays, but they say I waste my time. I see new movies at the theater or on DVD... I don't ignore the world." -Leon B.

"People assume, because I keep my emotions to myself, that I just don't care about anything. However, I'm really just wary about perceptions, reactions, and general liars." -Alanda M.

"They don't believe that I suffer from a mental illness. They don't believe that I played softball and volleyball for 20 years when I was younger. They don't believe I have written 3 poetry books - and sold them. They also don't believe I'm writing a novel now." - Deb G.

Affirmative Poetry [by Lorrie West]

Missing You by Lorrie West

I remember the times we spend
holding on to each other's cries.

Now you move on
to a different place.

Will I see you again?
My friend you will always be.

I miss you so, my friend.

Nature by Lorrie West

The nature that sings
through the windows of eyes -
watching as birds fly.
To the winter days, as the sun
speaks, a Moment of joy.

It's all dead now as the
cold has left us all
lonely now.

Christmas by Lorrie West

Christmas joy -
Christmas is right around the corner.
And I do have
A Gift of Love,
for everyone in the world is to be
Happy and Joyful for one and all...

Stress & Challenges (Prompt Answers)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR ABILITY TO MANAGE STRESS?

"I'm not very good at managing stress. I try to relieve it as best I can when it happens. One thing I've been meaning to try is to listen to music when I'm stressed. I need to work on that!" -Epifanio I.

"I use sudoku and music to help me when meditation fails me, which is rare. My ability to manage stress is largely dependent upon external factors and how my anxiety responds to them. Thankfully, I've been using yoga and meditation with deep breathing for over 20 years to cope. I heartily recommend it." -Alanda M.

WHAT IS THE HARDEST CHALLENGE YOU'VE HAD TO OVERCOME?

"I think the hardest challenge I had to overcome was with my addiction to alcohol. I was never happy and being sober has made me happy again!" -Epifanio I.

"Managing my stress. I've always been a person who's stressed since as early as 7 years old. Getting people to recognize this issue was difficult which made getting help with it an issue as well. No one takes me seriously about it which just stresses me out more. So even though I have an array of coping techniques - it is still an everyday issue I have to focus on to get over." - Alanda M.

Lost Love (Prompt Answers)

Write about a time you had to let go of something you loved or wanted. 
How did it change you?

"My ex-boyfriend because he would not get clean with me. He didn't stop so he died, but I lived clean now for 3 years." -Babygirl*

"I had to let go of my mother when she passed away. It was a difficult time for me. It took me a long time to get through her passing. It taught me to be strong and more self-reliant." -Epifanio I.

"I let go of a friend Mike and it really hurt. He was my recovery buddy. We'd always go to his house and talk, and play music. The day he died, he broke my heart. I have never loved someone like that again." -Sharon S.

"7 years ago I let go of living in Michigan - a place I love - to go to California. It was a long journey via bus, but it was beautiful and full of interesting people. I was stressed and worried during the trip, but laughing in the end. I lit up when I saw my sister though (even though it was 2:00 A.M. when I arrived). I gave up my singing and writing while I was there (4 months) turning into an even bigger recluse. By the time I got back to Michigan, I was depressed and a complete hermit. I didn't start to enjoy myself again until I went back to college. It turns out I'm less destructive in a semi-social atmosphere doing things I love than when I'm living for everyone else's needs. Go figure!" 
- Alanda M.

Learning From Mistakes *Prompt Answers*

What can you learn from your biggest mistakes?

"Never drink again - or use drugs." -Sharon S.

"Never letting someone with nothing bring you down to their life style again." -Babygirl*

"The one big mistake that I've experienced was my alcoholism. Being in recovery made me happy and more the person I want to be! It's a big part of my recovery." -Epifanio I.

"My biggest mistake was believing words over actions. It doesn't matter how often someone tells you they love you if they treat you like a commodity - and that's if they aren't completely dismissing you like you're a piece of dirt. Love should lift you up; it shouldn't drag you down. Love shouldn't be held up as a reward for being the way someone else wants you to be. It should be freely given sincerely for being yourself." -Alanda M.

*Names have been altered as requested*