"Obesity due to Anxiety..." By: A.L.M.*

[Welcome to February of 2022, everybody. I promise this won't be about Valentine's Day, though. I originally posted this on my Personal Blog but decided to have this posted on here as well since the physical problem stems from some of my mental health issues.] 

I've had many signs that my already fragile health has been in decline since the pandemic started. I have not gone to see my doctor, however, due to the obvious risk of getting CoVid19 in route. As a pedestrian, I walk and take the bus everywhere I go. This usually doesn't bother me, but the more I tried to get things done this way during this issue, the more uncaring imbeciles I would encounter. Knowing how little our society cares about this very real problem is more than enough to have me embracing my inner hermit. 

The worse I got, the more clear everything became. I read an article where a man having heart problems was denied from over 40 hospitals, eventually ending in his death, due to every hospital being filled with Covid19 patients. It doesn't surprise me that our local hospitals are having the same issue. 

So it isn't really surprising that I went into denial every time my chest started hurting or I couldn't breathe. There are a number of people who'll read this and say, "Maybe it's a panic attack?!" I assure you, as I've had anxiety attacks from the age of 8 years old, I know the difference. 

I take my medicine as prescribed, and my vitamins if things get too bad, but today a new revelation occurred. Now, I've been a bit overweight ever since puberty hit me when I was 10. I became obese somewhere in high school. I've been battling this weight issue for over 20 years. Nothing works because part of it was originally due to my mental health. However, these past few years have definitely made things worse. 

On December 4th I discovered my weight is up to 332 pounds. This is the heaviest I have ever been, including my 2 pregnancies. Was I upset? Absolutely. I have no idea if I've lost or gained since then. I do know my clothes still fit, though...

This said, today was a new revelation. I knew I had gained a lot of weight, specifically in my torso, but I had no idea how bad it really was. I took one of my antacids, as I do when my heartburn and indigestion occurs, only to nearly choke on it. It lodged in my throat because I got distracted and tried to take it like I would my vitamins. My mother was kind enough to perform the Heimlich maneuver about 7 times before she gave up and handed me orange juice instead. I'm too big to properly Heimlich. This is a new low and a new nightmare bringing about a bunch of added anxieties I definitely don't need in my life. 

I realize this isn't helpful in any way, but I have been trying to get back into shape. However, when you have 56DD breasts and asthma on top of being over 30 with all the pain and disfunction that number adds to an already messed up body - is it any wonder I'm having difficulty?

Lazy Girl workouts have been added to my daily life, but having a 5 year old jump on my spine does not encourage me to do much. I had a workout buddy before the pandemic, but this solitude has not been helpful in this tiny hotel room. Have a wonderful day!

*Requested Initials rather than full-name disclosure.*

More Core Beliefs (Prompt Answers)

 Five Core Beliefs Which Guide My Life Are:

Deb G.

1. My Religion/Praying
2. Reading Books
3. Writing my novel and poems
4. Visiting with my friends
5. Following my doctor's treatment plans

Laura A.

1. Accept people as they are| They are not going to change because you don't like the way they are
2. There are two things in life: Change and Resistance to Change
3. Your attitude determines your experience
4. Never trust anyone who isn't kind and compassionate to animals
5. There is no mood that cannot be improved by cat pictures
6. (Bonus) Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage

*Serenity S.

1. Honesty - Lying is the quickest way to be removed from my life
2. Loyalty - Lack of loyalty can destroy all emotional ties permanently 
3. Empathy - No love 😍 means no trust
4. Baseball - It's exciting, fun, and a great way to pass the time.
5. Music - The best part of emotions and life is found in music.

I know it sounds crazy, but it is what it is...

Scott C.

1. To be good will pay off
2. To be sensitive to others will make a difference
3. That *SUMMER* will make future seasons change my disabilities
4. My beliefs in Christianity will lead me to safety
5. My enemies were tricked & will come back to their senses

*Names were changed as requested.*

Stress (Prompt Answers)

How impairing is stress in your life?

"I have problems with stress in my life. It makes me want to sleep. I sleep until I wake up not feeling stressful. I have problems with depression and I don't need stress, too." -Deb G.

"I wish I could have no stress, but it is hard to live life with a lot of stress. It's taking a toll on me. I feel like I have no control over it. But I'm learning how to deal with it." -Julie R.

"Stress is very impairing in my life. I have too many responsibilities, too many people trying to dictate my life, with children in the background going "Mom, mom!" I am bipolar. This triggers me; sometimes it triggers mania and a lot of the time I sleep. It also triggers unhealthy coping mechanisms, which I'm not going to mention here." -Mel P.


{Stress is a common occurrence for everyone in the world. This doesn't mean we are affected by it in the same way or to the same degree. Please remember that before you make any judgement...}

Being Patient versus Becoming A Patient

"I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it." - Edith Sitwell

Having patience shouldn't make me feel like I'm slowly losing my mind. I have a short temper but because I'm able to rein it in most people are unaware. My patience has lead to my mental instability in a lot of ways and this country-wide panic is not helping.

I am in no way saying we shouldn't take seriously the threat of the Corona Virus. It is a serious issue, after all. Everyone should care about one's health, but this doesn't mean we don't have responsibility to others.

We have a moral responsibility to think rationally in this time of crisis. Hording necessities is bad enough without it causing the rest of the nation to Panic Shop. There are elderly people going without basic necessities. There are parents trying to buy the right foods for their children only to have to go without because people are stupidly allowing their panic and anxiety to overrule their sense. 

I went to the store to buy groceries, list in hand, only to get none of the items I needed for the week. I wanted exactly 1 box of ramen noodles for my 2 children. I go through that much over the course of a single month but the entire stock was gone. I was going to get cereal - gone. In the end, because everyone else is losing their minds, I bought bananas and saltine crackers. Needless to say, I am going to a different market today in the hopes other businesses exercised rationale in the face of our society's catastrophizing. 

I wish everyone the good sense to exercise self-restraint and ethical conscience in this disaster of human stupidity.